Loving this VN so far. I really like how events are happening, but the reader doesn't have a sure sense of what's going on. A mystery playing out in the background.
Fizzleup
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In terms of what I'm hoping to see more of in the future. I'm hoping there will be more story-lines of one on one interactions with the characters the protagonist shows the most interest in. I know that can lead to more writing because you need to basically write for each branch, but I think you'll get more people interested in the game when they get the option to more closely talk to the character they like the most.
Just played this and there's a lot of mysteries around this story. Like what the weird dream is about? And why is the protagonist is referred to as a 'big guy', but appears surprised at being called a 'big guy'? You did a good job of creating scenarios which are going to needle the reader's curiosity.
This is a cool VN so far and looking forward to more. Notice the sprites only have one set of clothes so far even when scenes describe them wearing something different which is understandable. Not sure of what you use for drawing, but adobe illustrator lets you basically draw 'layers' onto the sprite. So for instance you can draw them naked, then another layer of normal clothes. This lets you just switch between what sprites wear with a click. Just a tip which might help. Do some drawing myself.
I love the artwork and the distinct personalities of the characters. Can also tell there's hints of a plot twist in the future. I would make one suggestion- have the writing concentrate less on technicalities of what the protagonist is going through at the hotel and more on personal discussions with the other characters. With the writing detailing bracelets opening locker and buffet etiquette, I felt like there was a missed chance on asking Arty about himself. Although maybe I'm just getting impatient on knowing the character. Other readers might disagree.
Here are some suggestions just because I've been patreon to some- gallery with vn, polls on what character to work on first, sneak peeks at CGs which will be included in the game. This is personal opinion, but you'll want to avoid offering rewards which are time consuming- knew someone offering to type up side-stories as a benefit but it was a turn off because that meant they were working on something other than the VN project.
This is strictly my two cents, perhaps others disagree. I notice on your patreon page you are offering side writing projects for increased tiers. This could actually turn people off and have them not be patreons. Because now they're thinking about how time will be spent away from the project they want to see progressed. I've seen with VN porjects, picture galleries and decision polls offered for higher tier. May want to consider using those as rewards instead.
I'm really liking this. *spoiler* I actually chose to talk to Cedric instead of fighting him. Normally I always choose the 'get most likes' choice. But I just felt the protagonist deserved a chance to speak to him. That's when I know when I'm reading a good story, I care more about what the protagonist goes through versus the so called rack up the most like points choice. You may want to get a patreon page if you think you can commit to this project.
Just finished this and loving it. Characters are diverse and I always get the feeling each and everyone of them has a history to explore. I like how this is a fiction where the character is trying to build up their self-esteem. They didn't start out confident, but are working on it.
I am a little worried of not seeing any true obstacle. Normally a good story involves a challenge of some sort, a present danger which the protagonist has to resolve. I'm probably just being impatient considering this VN is just starting. Can't wait to see more.